Storms of Life

At some point life continues to throw darts at you. When you think you have gotten through one storm, there comes another one. A bigger one! One that continues to knock you down regardless of how hard you try to stand up. The only thing that will keep you from drowning is God. He will keep you even when you don’t think you have a way out. Sometimes we have to take a moment and realize that a change will definitely come no matter how bad it seems. 

The ones that are closest to you are the ones that hurt you the most. They will hurt you in a way that is so unbelievable that you think you are dreaming. It is a hurt that shreds your very being and it will not go away. Eventually it begins to change the person who you are into someone who you do not recognize.

How do you get back from that? You stand on the ROCK! He will never leave you nor forsake you. Everything that happens; every hurt, every ounce of pain, every unforgettable moment will be healed. It takes a while but eventually you will get there. Everything is working out for your good no matter how terrible it seems at the time. It is at this moment that you need every ounce of faith you can muster!

Tell your storm: WINDS STOP BLOWING…DEATH CANT TAKE ME….YOU CANT DROWN ME WHILE GOD SURROUNDS ME!

Free Your Mind

 

“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery.
None but ourselves can free our minds.”  
    Bob Marley

Today started off horribly. After waking up, I decided to take a look at Facebook. I am not a news  person.  There's too much negativity so I do not watch it. Not really a Facebook person either but something drew me to it this morning. Lo and behold what I saw disgusted me.

Too many senseless killings to count. What type of world do we continue to live in, where this type of behavior, from people who are supposed to protect us.... kill us and it's okay?

In one situation a four-year-old watched as her father was shot to death right in front of her. What kind of heart scratch that... you cannot have a heart and do that in front of somebody's baby. Then you don't call for help, you don't do anything, and you stand there with your gun drawn as if a dead person is going to shoot you back. Secondly there's a fifteen-year-old boy who's crying like an infant because he will never get to see his father again. Senseless. Unnecessary. It must stop at some point! What do we do as a people? What do we do as a country? We have to start doing something. Yes, we talk about it and we get angry.  Then we just stop being angry until the next person gets shot and then we're angry all over again. And we want to have hashtags and all lives matter... black lives matter... but when it's all said and done we're not doing anything - a hashtag does not change the State of Mind of this world.

We have to free our minds of this mental slavery that we have been conditioned to succumb to.....the oppression that is in this world today. We have been conditioned to think that our lives don't matter. We've been conditioned to think that we don't have value. We've been conditioned to look the other way. We're treated as savages. We were kings and queens... we had our own. We have to get back to that.  We cannot let our minds become desensitized to what's going on just because it keeps happening... No!!!!! That's not living. There's more to life then being afraid to go outside. There's more to life than being afraid to sell CD's in front of a store. There's more to life than following instructions of an officer but still getting shot to death. Injustice at its finest. I can't take it.  I am depleted right now. I have expelled so much emotion today! I have cried as if this was a close relative of mine! My soul hurts for my people. Free your mind people. Only then will you become free. Because if your mind is in bondage.... you are in bondage. That's where it starts.  If your mind is in captivity, you are going to remain in captivity. And that is not what you nor I were created for!

 



Toss Those Bricks

When I saw this quote, it spoke volumes to how I was conducting my relationships. I realized that I kept going through the same things and each time the relationship ended the same way. I thought it was them but soon I came to the conclusion that it was me.

I carried so many bricks that I built the same mansion!

 Not only are bricks a burden on you but they also weigh down anything you step into. This is why so many relationships fail. We think we can bring the same, tired, beat up bricks in and build something new but that is not reality. If you want something new, you have to start with  all new materials. You cannot refurbish a piece of furniture and sell it as a new item. It might look different on the outside but on the inside it has not changed.

Be very aware that the bricks you carry will hinder how you move forward in your relationship. The extra burden will wear you our physically, mentally, and emotionally; leaving no energy for the new relationship.

Take your bricks and toss them. Let it go then BREATHE!

Wishes

I wish I could but I can’t

This dance is not for me

I prance around with mask activated

Masqueraded by balls thrown in my court

My turn to choose...

Put on my walking shoes

Or infuse myself with confusion

Delusional

False realities

But they are my truths

 

I wish I didn’t feel

Pain

Hurt

Anger

Rage

Sadness

Mixed emotions blown out of proportion

My personal big bang theory

 Mental slavery

History repeating itself

By way of generational curses

So I begin to break them

 

I wish I had the desires of my heart

But am I ready for what my heart desires

That would require

A deeper level of soul penetration  

My only limitation is me

I am my worst enemy

I am my worst critic

 No fairy tales or picket fences

To mend

I bend like a palm tree in the middle of Miami during hurricane season

I will not break

I will get stronger

 

 

I wish I didn’t wish anymore

But then...

 where would my dreams go?

Facing the fears of my child

 

 

 

 

 

Today I had to face the fears of my child. Thirty years of surpressed pain and agony brought to the surface in an instant. How is it that the same misfortunes that threatened my existence could come back to haunt my innocent child? What did she ever do to deserve such heartbreaking pain?

 

Intentional and Purposeful!

 

That's when it dawned on me.... it was not about me, her, or the things that plagued us... it was all for the glory of God!

 

Every tear, every hurt, every moment, every second... All for Him.

 

So don't flatter your self, nothing in this world is about you!

When The Stress Gets To Be Too Much...

Woooooooooo! It has been a week. Actually it has been a month! I am not sure what is happening in the air but I have been bombarded with stressful situations. Everywhere I turned there was something going on that would make me lose a loc or two.

But then it happened...

 

I saw #trentshelton "Subtract the Stress" video on YouTube. I love his videos. They are right on point. They are not long and drawn out. His videos gives just enough for me to be encouraged to move on when I am dwelling on something.

Now even though I know that I should not even entertain the idea of getting stressed over things I cannot control, sometimes I lose my mind just a little bit. This video was just a reminder that if things are causing me to lose precious energy and are not building me up....let it go! I needed that.

I started my pruning process of people and things that were no longer good for my health. It is so good not to be weighed down by all the negativity that others can bring into your life.

No more drama! I'm Out!

School's in Session

Poetry for me is my drug of choice
its my voice
when I refuse to lose myself
in any one else but God.
So I bob and weave
float like butterflies sting like bees
like Ali, quick on my feet
and won't retreat from the battle
while you shake like baby rattles
I spit like venomous snakes
and all it takes
is one bite of one piece of one rhyme
and you'll find yourself
infected with dissected
syllables
that are capable
of changing the way you think
when cut... I bleed ink
for me poetry runs deep
and it seeps from my pores
and of course
the source
was individual letters that became words
that I heard make a sentence
that was so intense
it became a line in this rhyme
and by the time
you realize you've been bitten
what I've written
has already penetrated
your constipated
state of being
freeing you from the unnecessary
and contrary to your belief
it's a relief to release
the junk that kept you drunk
sorry honey I shrunk the morbid way you think
putting you on the brink
of revelation as my creations
from my creator removes the hateration
that has become the occupation
of so many
the work is plenty but the workers are few
so chew on that... breathe... class dismissed.