This book sums it all up for me. I am on a writing challenge and I am writing naked and unashamed truth. It is raw and unscripted. Join me on the journey of self discovery as I find Peace from all of the broken pieces of my life.
If I were able to ask my younger self questions, I would ask
her how it felt to be teased throughout her childhood. I would ask her how it
felt to not have the love of her father. I would ask her how if felt to be
hated by your siblings because you were the youngest. I would ask her why she felt
lonely even though she had many friends. I would ask her why she did things she
knew she would get in trouble for. I would ask her how she felt when her cousin
tried to molest her. I would ask her why she blamed herself and why she never
spoke up for herself.
My younger self will remind me that even though she was teased
she made it through and is stronger for it. She will remind me that though my father
did not show me love that my mother gave me all the love she had plus other
family members. She would remind me that my siblings did not understand why I was
treated different and they were kids who really did not know how to express themselves.
Kids with their own issues and masks. She would remind me that loneliness did
not feel good but because of it I know what not being alone feels like. She would
remind me that the reason why I did things to get in trouble was because of the
attention I felt like I couldn’t get. She would remind me that I did nothing to
deserve someone violating me and I should not blame myself for someone else’s
shortcomings. She would remind me that she did not speak up because she was afraid
of rejection and the thought of no one believing her because she thought it was
her fault.
If I were to ask my older self questions, I would ask her if
she is satisfied with her life. I would ask her if she felt that everything she
sacrificed was worth it. I would ask her if she ever found the love she lost on
January 26th. I would ask her how she learned to live with the pain
of not sharing her life with her soulmate. I would ask her if she has any
regrets in life. I would ask her if she was living her best life. I would ask
her if her passion turned into her career. I would ask her if she and her
children ever gotten on an even understanding about life. I would ask her when she
found out her true purpose and how she walked in it. I would ask her if
everything that she feared truly a reality or was she just putting up a barrier
to protect herself.
My older self wants me to know that it all works out in the
end. She wants me to know that I am worth every tear I have cried. She wants me
to know that it will be hard work but I need to press through. She would want
me to know that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. She would want me
to know that if I stay committed, I will definitely succeed. She would want me
to know that fear is only a crutch that I hold onto to avoid being successful. She
would want me to know that success does not equate to being perfect. She would
want me to know that I will find love again and this time it will be heavenly. She
would want me to know that I should not close myself up. She would want me to
know that I should express my feeling in ways that are healthy for healing. She
would want me to know that I am more than a warrior and that I am strong. She would
want me to know that my story will help so many like me. She would want me to
know that I will make an impact on the world; one woman at a time. She would
want me to know that when life gets tough, I should stand on the promises that
God has given me. She would want me to know that I will live in that house I desire
with my “happy room”. She would want me
to know that life is too short to allow others to dictate my life. She would
want me to know that I am loved beyond measure. She would want me to know that
my value in myself led other to believe they were worth it!
